Keeping your sex life exciting can be difficult in a long-term relationship. You’ve been together for years, you don’t have any secrets, and you know each other’s habits like the back of your hand. Add children, bills, and stressful jobs into the mix, and you’ve hardly got a recipe for romance. The good news is, you don’t have to resign yourself to a low-libido, and there are things you can do to heat up the bedroom action without going overboard. So, if you’re stuck in a relationship rut, make working on your sex life your number one resolution this New Years. To help you get started, here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back to your sex life in 2018.
Prioritize Couple Time
Modern life is busy and complicated, so it’s understandable that many of us feel that we don’t have time for sex. However, almost all of us make time for intimacy when we’re dating, so perhaps it’s a question of prioritizing our relationships rather than simply having more time. You’re not always going to feel like being intimate of course, and it’s natural for your sex drive to wane when you’ve been with your partner for a while. However, giving up the housework sometimes or turning off the TV for a couple of hours can make room for the quality time you both need.
Invest in Some New Underwear
In the early days, you probably tried to impress your partner at every opportunity. However, it’s easy to slip into comfortable routines (and clothes!) when you’ve been together for years. Reignite some of that former magic by swapping your sweatpants for sexy underwear and see where the night takes you. Not only will provocative lingerie excite your partner, but you will also feel sexy and empowered. If you want to go one step further, you can make your bedroom look more appealing by dressing your bed in some new sheets, lighting candles, and clearing the room of any kids’ toys and other clutter to set the mood.
Explore Sex Toys
One of the best ways to bring a little excitement into your relationship is to bring sex toys into the bedroom. Not only do sex toys allow you to explore new areas of pleasure, but they also take some of the pressure off the encounter by making it more “playful.” These days, there is a vast choice of sex toys online, all of which can be delivered quickly and discreetly. Alternatively, the two of you can visit a sex shop and enjoy the anticipation of choosing something together.
Help Him Combat Performance Anxiety
Nothing dampens the mood more than a loss of confidence, so if your man is worried about his sexual performance, you may need to give him a helping hand to get things going. Erectile dysfunction is a common problem for men, and it’s nothing for him to be embarrassed about. Why not do some research together to find a product that can help? Bathmate provides safe, all-natural penis pumps that will allow your male partner to reach his desired size and stay erect for longer. The pumps work using only water and can be used in the bath or shower – you could even work one into your foreplay.
Take “Should” Out of the Conversation
Sex is different for everyone, and there is no “normal” amount of sex that you need to keep your relationship alive. Many of us don’t have as much sex as we’d like, but that doesn’t mean our relationships are doomed. Telling someone they “should” be having sex more regularly will only hurt and anger them. Everyone is different, and different people require different amounts of sex. Wanting sex more than your partner or vice versa doesn’t mean your incompatible; in fact, a difference in sexual appetite is a common problem, and it’s one that you can overcome if you’re both prepared to work at it.
Focus on Quality Over Quantity
It doesn’t necessarily matter how often you have sex, but the quality of your intimacy is important. There’s no need to compare your sex life to other couples, especially if you and your partner both enjoy sex when it happens. Pressurizing someone to have more sex than they are comfortable with will have the opposite effect, so focus on the quality of your encounters, not the quantity.
Don’t Keep Count
Again, try not to pressure on yourself on your partner to do what’s “normal” or to have “enough sex.” According to psychologists, a sex-starved relationship is one in which couples have sex less than ten times a year, but that it doesn’t become an issue until one person has a problem with that. Whether you and your partner have sex once a day, once a week, once a month or less isn’t relevant if you’re both happy with your arrangement, so there’s no need to keep score.
Overcome Any Issues
Your sex life can be affected by many internal and external factors, including health conditions, medications, psychological triggers, and previous sexual abuse. It’s normal to experience a reduced sex drive as you get older, and we all fall into ruts when we’re in long-term relationships. However, if you think your disinterest in sex could have another cause, then you should consult your doctor or see a psychologist to help you overcome the issue. Keep your partner in the loop on this as you work toward the sex life you both want together.
Don’t Try to Make It PerfectThe quality of your intimate time is what matters most, but, on the flip side of the coin, you shouldn’t wait for the perfect moment to present itself because it hardly ever does. It’s also a well-established fact that the more sex you have, the more you want, and sometimes you just have to get your libido going. If there are stressful jobs, late nights, and a couple of kids in the equation, it’s not going always going to be candles, soft lighting, and sexy underwear. Instead, embrace the perfectly imperfect, enjoy sex, and accept that it won’t always be the best you’ve ever had.
