Blame games occur often in relationships, particularly, when the problem arises and no one admits his or her fault. Every person bears some flaws. Most of the time, a person tries to defend his or her stance by putting the blame on others. When a person undergoes a negative experience, certain defenses develop in mind. These defenses do not allow a person to trust others. However, continuation of blame game does not make partners happy and may lead to separation, but there are ways to work on this issue and live a happy life.
Avoid Framing Case
When conflict takes place, it is easy to bring allegations on partner’s character with all kinds of proof. You may start pointing out incidents where your partner has failed to perform the prescribed task.
Framing case against your partner is problematic. Once you start to see your partner in a certain way, you often judge his or her actions in a negative manner. You often treat innocent comments as critical ones. Here, you need to maintain a balanced perspective on situations that occur. You can learn how to deal with such a situation by visiting good sources of relationship management like http://www.magicrelationships.com.
Maintain Calmness
When you enter into a relationship, you would notice how certain things set you off, when defenses are at work. The withholding attitude or the bad mood of your partner can make you land in the primal state and the situation becomes worse when the behavior reminds something painful from the past.
Most of the time, your instinct would direct you to enter into loggerhead with your partner. This would not solve the issue. When you feel triggered, you should relax before you react. You keep your partner’s temper under control by calming down yourself first.
Never Bring Things Back From the Past
When the blame game starts, it goes out of control. No one becomes ready to admit fault. Nobody can emerge as a winner through arguments. If you wish to improve your relationship, then you have to ensure that you should not speak any point, which is related to the past.
You have to shed your previous thoughts for ensuring the flow of positive feelings between you and your partner. This, in turn, allows you to drop your reactive defenses. Further, you can exchange feedbacks with each to lead a happy life.
Analyze Your Patterns
When you have calmed yourself and have stepped away from the argument, you start figuring out your patterns. When you get triggered, it is crucial for you to observe the moment. You have to analyze if you have overreacted. Is your reaction anything to do with the past?
You can think about what sets you off and the patterns that influence your relationship. Here, you need to accept that a couple is formed with two persons having different mindsets. You have to respect the compassion and differences when you are at confrontation with your partner.
Be Bold to Receive a Feedback
When you initiate a dialogue, it is important to listen to the points, which your partner says. Feedback should not be avoided. Do not think that you would be devastated when you receive feedback. A feedback has the power of bringing transformation to one’s life by helping him or her to live with honesty.
Develop the Sense of Compassion
When you start identifying your defenses and those of your partner, you would know why your partner behaves in a particular manner. When you find the reasons of getting triggered, you can develop the sense of compassion.
In order to stop the blame game, you need to calm down yourself first. Then you can easily analyze yours as well as behavioral patterns of your partner and ask for feedback. This way, you can settle for a happy deal with your partner.
Author Bio – Jenice Decosta is a life coach expert. She has prevented couples from getting separated by solving blame game issues. To know more about her tips on happy relationship, visit http://www.magicrelationships.com.
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